Sacrifice
by RobinScorpio
Summary: She agreed to carry a child for her sister using her own egg. She never expected how much it would hurt to let the child go.
1. Chapter 1

Sacrifice

 _It is amazing how time and experience can change a person within a period of three days. It took her boyfriend a day to move on to her best friend, a week for her to find out. That alone fundamentally changed her. The pain ripped through her raw and unwavering. Days later she went into premature labor. They had tried to stop it but was un successful, three days later she had her first child, a premature child who would need all of the love and nurturing he could get. Still, it wasn't up to her, she was merely a vessel, he had parents to care for him but she felt empty._

 _Her parents had advised her to see the baby but she couldn't, she wouldn't it would be hard to let him go. She already loved him and considered him hers. She needed to get away, when she was able she slipped out into the middle of the night. She almost stopped at the nursery just for a glimpse but she knew that if she had she could never walk away, she could never give him up._

 _She went back to the place she had called home, packed a few bags then headed with her car to an unknown destination. She had money saved up and figured she could get a job wherever she landed. She would come back but she needed space from it all. A week later she received the news that her son had died. She still couldn't go back._

1

She seemed to always be busy or in a corner with her nose in a book, he wondered how she retained any information through the noise. He had saw her when he came with friends to celebrate and she had immediately caught his attention, not because she tried but because of her presence. There was something about her. He wouldn't dare approach her, he was a screw up and disappointment to his legacy which was all the same because he wanted nothing to do with it anyway. There was something appealing about being self-made. His father wouldn't think so since his grandmother left him a handsome inheritance and he had gotten a lawyer to get it released to him on his 21st birthday versus his 25th. He had finished school early graduating from NYU with a degree in film. He was going to use some of his inheritance to fund his first film, a mockumentary called "Anti-Social".

She had to have been the most anti-social bartender he had ever seen. She must have been in need of money because he saw her working every possible job in the lounge from server to hostess but mostly she bartended. Guys tried to flirt but she shot them down with a deadpan look. It was a slow night, he was grateful, for one he would finally have a chance to talk to her.

Life was funny to Nicole, once she found out that her father was a liar and a cheat she changed her name to her mother's last name, DuPont. Zende and Sasha had tried reaching out to her once the truth came out. Several apologies from Zende, he had no idea. It had been four months she had left. She had enrolled in NYU's summer program and was taking courses to keep busy. She wasn't sure how she got in, she believed her sister had something to do with it. She had tried paying her tuition but was told it was paid. She asked them not to help but they had denied knowing anything about it. The university had told her that she had qualified for several grants which she didn't buy but she could not prove otherwise. So she went with it, she paid for books and boarding costs which in New York City was costly.

Nicole felt a shadow looming over her as she chopped limes for the bar. "I will be with you in just one second." She called without looking up. She quickly put the limes away. She looked up into the face of the handsome stranger she noticed watching her from time to time when he came in with his friends. She wanted to tell him to not even try it but she was working and had to be cordial to customers. She plastered a fake smile on her face.

"What are you having this evening?" He smiled at her blue eyes twinkling.

"I seem to like things that I cannot have. You are the only bartender I see around here so much. So since I am a regular I wanted to get your name." She laughed at that, it was lame.

"Most men want what they cannot have or desire what is forbidden not that it is exclusive to men. My regulars already have my name, now what can I get you to drink?" She was quick, he liked that but he could not help but notice that her smile never reached her eyes. There was an innocence about her that was probably more noticeable at one point. He wondered what dimmed the light in her eyes. He had been thinking intently forgetting to order and not realizing that he was staring. She had walked off to handle another customer.

Nicole walked back to the stranger, he seemed familiar but she couldn't place him. He looked like the type of guy who was probably used to women falling at their feet for him. He looked like the type of guy who left a trail of broken hearts or at the very least had a jar for his collection. Dating and love wasn't an option for her. She noticed a grin spread across his face when a customer called her name thanking her. She turned to smile at the customer with a nod of gratitude then turned back to her customer.

"Nicole, hmmm. Nicole suits you." He could see that she was getting impatient. "My name Ryan James." He extended his hand. Not wanting to appear rude to other patrons she took his hand then shook firmly.

"I tend to raise an eyebrow at a guy with two first names but that is just me. Are you going to order or just take in air?" He laughed at that letting go of her hand.

"I think that I will enjoy the view while I think about it." He winked at her and she rolled her eyes. A slender woman with red head approached, she was about 30 years of age. She smiled at Nicole.

"Whatever he is having you can put it on my tab Nicki." She turned toward him.

"My name is Lucy Shaw." She passed him her card as her eyes roamed over his frame. He was amused and a bit confused.

"Ryan James." He looked at the card, she was an agent. "I am sorry Lucy, I do not need an agent. I am not a model or actor." She frowned slightly.

"But you should be, I have been trying to convince this one to step from behind the bar to the front of the camera. In fact I bet you would take nice shots together. Do you know how many people would kill to work for my agency?" Nicole smirked.

"Do you know how many street kids have heard the words, 'I bet you would take nice shots together' and end up in porn when they are 18?" He snickered at that. Lucy looked at her.

"She has a mouth on her. I am not some sleaze, I am the real deal. Dirty Martini honey, extra dirty." Nicole just laughed at her then went to make her drink while she flirted with Ryan.


	2. Chapter 2 Shut It Down

I am not a song writer but I am trying to have Nic create originals.

 **Chapter 2 Shut It Down**

Nicole had to admit that the man was persistent. He came by on slower nights regularly and she always shot him down. She had to admit that he was hot and funny but that is what got her into trouble in the first place. It had gotten her heart ripped from her chest, thrown to the ground and stomped on. She sat under a large oak tree studying for her classical compositions class.

"Ahh Classical Comp, some would say an excellent class but it bored me to tears." Ryan frowned then looked at her wearing a NYU tank with cotton shorts.

"Hey gorgeous." He plopped next to her. "Is that all you do? Work? Study? Work some more? Do you ever have fun?"

"You strike me as someone who is used to getting what he wants and gets thrown off guard when he is told no. Do you ever let up?" His eyes caught hers.

"What did he do to you?" She shook her head then closed her book with a heavy sigh. She stood packing up her things. "Look Nic, you have shot me down in every way possible. I have pretty much given up on asking you out on a date. I think that you are funny. I am attracted to you but I was only trying to be your friend." He said from his spot on the ground.

"I don't need friends." He stood then shoved his hands into his khaki shorts. "I definitely don't need friends like you."

"What does that mean, like me?" She threw her backpack over her shoulder.

"Self-entitled, spoiled, frat boys who only see women as objects to curb their desires then discard her when done." He rolled back on the balls of his feet.

"Spoiled, self-entitled, and handsome frat boys do not need to pursue women relentlessly for that. They come to them." She threw her head back laughing.

"Where is the challenge in that? That is what it is about and you know it." He looked down, truth was he had moved around so much that he only had a couple of friends who had gone off to study in graduate programs and the newer friends knew who he was and always wanted something.

"I can be an asshole, it is part of who I am, I suppose but you are wrong about me. I don't see that changing so… Sorry for bothering you. I'll fix it by not." He walked away and she felt bad but shook it off. It was for the best.

He had gone back to the lounge for the live show but she wasn't working so he felt like he was safe. He really did enjoy the place.

"Okay ladies and gentleman, your favorite bartender is filling in tonight. Nikki is in going to bless you with her beautiful voice." Randall smiled as she stepped up with her guitar.

"I am going to do an original with an acoustic flavor." She smiled and started to strum away her pain.

 _April Fool_

 _Often times we say that love is blind,_

 _Blame it on seeing through youthful eyes_

 _Just beginning your journey seeking to find_

 _Where you belong_

 _Someone to love who will love you in return,_

 _Not looking but I thought that I had found mine_

 _He had me believing but he was deceiving_

 _So I must let it… burrrrrnnnnnn_

 _Chorus:_

 _Thought that we would always be cool._

 _Spring came, things changed_

 _And I'm an April Fool,_

 _Yes I'm an April Fool_

 _End Chorus_

 _You told me that you were…_

 _You said you were just friends, you said_

 _I placed my faith in us, gave you my trust._

 _Not even two days later she is in your bed._

 _But you said... damn you said…_

 _That I had nothing to worry about_

 _Tried to hide instead of fight_

 _Never thought I'd figure it out_

 _She was my best friend, my best friend.._

 _Supposed to ride with me… Be down with me… Slap a chic for me…_

 _To the end_

 _And she said, damn she said…_

 _She could never_

 _But she slipped right into your bed_

 _Chorus_

 _She broke a cardinal rule_

 _Thought for my bestie we'd always be down_

 _Never thought the two of you would be messin' round_

 _But I'm an April fool,_

 _Yes I'm an April fool_

 _You made a fool of me_

 _I want to know why_

 _How could you do this to me?_

 _How could you do this to us?_

The song faded on the chorus. She received applause. She saw him stand to leave while staring at her. She introduced the next song breaking eye contact as she felt vulnerable that he had heard the song. He was clapping, he had mouthed something that she couldn't make out then he left.


	3. Chapter 3 Rushed Judgement

Sorry for the delay, I did not think there were many reading.

 **Chapter 3 Rushed Judgement**

Ryan was true to his word, he didn't return when she was working and in some odd way she had missed his jokes. It was a hot summer night and she decided to walk home instead of paying for a cab. She regretted that decision when she felts someone behind her. She picked up her pace.

Nicole felt the man grab her trying to get her bag. She had her laptop and books in it. She wasn't willing to give them up so she fought him refusing to let him run away with her bag. She caught a flash of him, he hit the man with a left hook that sent him stumbling backward. He had let go of the bag.

Ryan looked at Nicole. "Run." He told her but she stayed rooted in her spot. He shouted at her but she stayed there.

"I am not leaving you with this meth head." The man aimed a gun at Ryan.

"Give me the bag." She handed him the bag. "Now you, give me your wallet."

"I don't have it but I do have cash." He handed him a wad of cash. The man ran off. Nicole was shaking she was scared but trying to put on a brave act.

"Where do you live?" He asked her.

"About a block from here." She said hugging herself.

"Come on, I'll walk you and I am not in the mood for protest." She frowned then led the way.

Nicole welcomed Ryan into her small loft apartment. "Stay behind me, I just want to look around then we need to call to get your locks changed. You should call and cancel your cards, etc." He advised.

Still shaken up as the incident was just hitting her she followed him through the apartment without protest. The police came and took their statement.

"Listen a locksmith at this hour is going to be expensive and since I just lost my laptop and books, I'd rather wait until morning, I will just go out and buy a new lock and put it on myself." He frowned.

"I don't think so. Let me get the locksmith for you." She shook her head. "Consider it all the tips that I owe you and damages for causing you grief."

"No, I will manage. I will call a locksmith during business hours. Would you like a drink? I have tequila, beer, wine, soda, juice, water." He looked at her sensing she needed to do something to keep busy.

"Beer is fine." He said finally. She walked into the kitchen and began calling to ensure that all of her cards were cancelled. She came back with beer and tequila.

"Thankfully, I only carry one card at a time. Reduces impulse buys." She smiled. "Have a seat"

"Nic, I mean this as respectfully as possible but are you crazy? You give them what they want. Things can be replaced, you cannot." She took her shot.

"You told me to run, what was I supposed to do leave you there?" She sighed. "Thank you by the way. Luckily I sent all my work out so I am not behind. I just had a lot on that laptop, pictures," He was silent for a moment.

"Yes, you were supposed to leave me there. What kind of computer was it?" He asked.

"Mac Pro fully loaded. I had songs on their, compositions. See I just reacted out of impulse. It is hard to recreate some things to the level of the original creation." Her eyes welled but quickly dried.

"I hope the police find it. I have a locator and locking system on it. I do have most things in the cloud but that can be risky." He moved to sit next to her, she was rambling.

"Take a deep breath Nicole. Something awful happened. Part of NYC living I suppose. It is okay to be scared and no need to thank me. I am going to make a suggestion. I am not trying to come on to you or anything but… I would feel better staying on your couch and seeing that your locks get changed." She looked at him.

"Why Ryan, you are a mere stranger." He smirked.

"At your insistence. I am Ryan James Douglas." She started laughing out of nowhere.

"So you have three first names." He shook his head.

"Douglas is a surname as well, as is Ryan and James. Anyway smartass. I am from LA but I haven't lived there in a long time. NYU is my alma mater. I studied film as I want to be a producer and screenwriter. I am working on my first film." He looked at her shocked to see that she was listening. She must have been scared if she wanted him around. He wasn't going to complain. For some reason he was drawn to her.

"So mere stranger, I am going to give you some inside information. The film is called Anti-Social. It is about the disconnect that social media and technology has caused between the masses, the sheeple. We post everything we eat, wear, relationships, people are no longer talking to each other. I saw a couple in the same place texting each other. It is like an addiction. That is my premise, I am working out some other details. I have written a couple but keep scrapping them. I am thinking horror or mockumentary style comedy." She smiled.

"I like it. Maybe a parody, throw some trashreality in there. You are definitely on to something. You could get your feet wet with a parody on the ring, call it the meme." She chuckled and saw him tense, he thought that she was laughing at his idea.

"Your idea is great." She put her hand on his knee. "I like that it can deliver a message about the social constructs of our generation while being funny or scary. I just, sometimes my mind runs with things. And think about it. "The Meme" it shows up in your DM, if you read it, you have to send it to five other people or you will die in five days. Only, people delete it and they start being picked off." He smiled.

"I am not sure how that would work but it could be a parody inside of the parody. I like the concept. You have an amazing voice." She shrugged.

"Thanks although you did miss most of it." She drank her beer then went to get the bottle of tequila.

"I was honoring your request. I love the music so I come when you aren't there." She sighed.

"About that… Guys hit on me all the time there. Most of them just want in my panties. It has become a wall of sorts for me. I don't date so what is the point?" She poured another shot.

"Because of the guy you were singing about?" She took her shot.

"He didn't cheat on me. He did sleep with my best friend the day after he dumped me. That hurt more than the breakup." She laughed. "The breakup I understood. I made a decision that he was against but he said he would stick by me. In the end he couldn't handle it so he set up a romantic dinner. I was happy and awed, the fool I was. Then he told me my choices were admirable, he loved me but couldn't deal. He couldn't wait for me. He knew that I was a little insecure, they were becoming friends and she and I had a competition going since high school where boys were concerned." She looked down not knowing why she was telling him all of that.

"She is tall, long legs, gorgeous. I had my fair share of attention but she always had to try to outshine me. See, I was a, am a bit geek-ish. She liked fast and loose, I liked books and fun. They assured me nothing would happen. I got her fired, they work together and I had some pull with the boss. I immediately got her rehired but that didn't matter. Not that she hadn't tried before hand, I know she must have. Not only did they sleep together. He texted me for days. I ignored him, avoided him and he wanted to tell me that he moved on. He was so cold about it. I don't think that he ever loved me even." She shook her head.

"Anyway, needless to say, I have trust issues. I don't… I have friends back home but I don't make new ones easily. I am out here on my own, working, going to school." She shrugged.

"I will be frank. A. You are beautiful. B. She was never your friend because friends don't compete that way. He was a jerk, there is a code. You are better off without them but if you allow them to block your joy, they win. They are doing fine, why can't you?" She looked at him fire sparking within her hazel eyes.

"I am doing fine. I like my bubble." He frowned.

"Yeah but bubbles burst Nic. You deserve some happiness. I see you shutting down so tell me.. Where are you from?" He asked.

"I am from Chi Town but I moved to go to UCLA. I transferred here to get away. I am studying music and minoring in computer science. I have always been good at that. I like code but I love music more. I don't want to have a career in singing but writing and producing so we have something in common in that respect. You could certainly stand in front of the camera but choose not to." A big grin spread across his face.

"Does someone think I am sexy enough for the big screen?" She blushed smacking him playfully.

"Ugh shut up." She laughed. He knew he was gorgeous, dark hair; blue eyes; dimpled smile, tall, and athletic.

"I mean you always hit me with the sour looks. I had no idea. I thought you saw me as some Quasimodo type. It was bad for my massive ego." He mocked her look and she laughed again.

"That is why you were pouting?" She returned the favor by mocking him.

"I don't pout, I am smoother than that. Now sometimes, on a rare occasion, you may catch me brooding." He joked.

The spent the night joking around talking about superficial things, nothing serious, he had achieved his goal of calming her nerves and she began to wonder if she had judged him too harshly.


End file.
